|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Updated as often as I can manage |
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
OK, this is just... unbelievable. I'm so angry right now. You might know by now that Hong Kong will be getting its very own Disneyland sometime in 2005 or 2006. You might have heard that there was a lot of controversy over it, but the gist of it is the Government put a lot on the line to get Disneyland out here, and I did firmly believe that it would be a great thing for HK. Not anymore. Because what you probably didn't know is that HK Disneyland will SUCK.
Look, I know a lot of people out there hate Disney and think Disneyland is a crock. I'm not one of those people. I've been going to Tokyo Disneyland since I was a little kid and loved it every time. My friends and I have been joking forever that once HK Disneyland opens, we'll buy year-long passes and whenever we need to kill an hour or so we'll hop on the train and go to Disneyland. You could say I've been looking forward to it for a while now. So I went to do some digging around to see what rides made it in to HK Disneyland, and... it's not pretty. Not pretty at all.
First off, there are only four "lands" this time: Adventureland, Tomorrowland, Main Street USA and Fantasyland. No Toontown, no Frontierland/Critter Country. Even though I have a soft spot for Toontown, it's no big deal. HK Disneyland is meant to be the smallest, so I'd prefer four fully-realised lands to six half-arsed ones. Except then I took a look at the actual rides. The main site rather conspicuously doesn't list much at all, so I went hunting around other sites. Uh oh. We have Space Mountain, Jungle Cruise, Dumbo (which I like very much, shut up), Winnie the Pooh, that Sleeping Beauty Castle Tour thingy, Buzz Lightyear and a bunch of basic merry-go-round Fantasyland rides. As if to highlight the lack of rides, one report noted that in an effort to save HK Disneyland before it sinks into a mess even greater than that of Euro Disney, they're quickly planning to launch the Haunted Mansion, It's A Small World and an all-new Pirates of the Caribbean in time for "Phase 2" by the end of the decade.
This begs the question: Wait, you mean they're opening the park WITHOUT Haunted Mansion, Small World and Pirates? WHAT? Um... WHAT? Are they INSANE? And that ride list... pathetic. I can't believe that that's pretty much it, but if you don't believe me take a look at a picture of the park model on display in a shop here:
I don't know about you, but to me that matches up rather nicely with the ride list. And incidentally, while ride information is thin on the ground there's PLENTY of information about the shops and restaurants and hotels opening up in HK Disneyland (though it begs the question: If the park is so damned small, why are there hotels when it looks like you'll be able to do the whole thing in less than three hours?).
So why is it so low on rides? Get this: Disney says that surveys in Asia find that tourists here prefer to take photos, watch fireworks and stage shows, and... take a stroll through the park scenery. They're not into rides like those boisterous Americans, oh no! They pay Disneyland's entry fee to take pictures with Mickey and walk past the flowers. Those wacky Asians just LOVE snippy-snapping everything they see with their cameras!
...
What bugs me MORE about this is that recently Disneylands seem... more exciting. Where before each Disney park were basically clones of each other with slight local quirks, they're really branching out now and stuff like Tokyo's DisneySEA (an entirely new park next door to Tokyo Disneyland with a totally original nautical theme) makes you hope that Hong Kong will have cool, unique stuff too. And even that new Pirates of the Caribbean ride supposedly in the works for HK's Phase 2 sounds pretty cool. They're going to make it more of a thrill ride now to tie into the movie, with Splash Mountain-style drops through the jaws of Skull Rock separating the "story" segments we all remember, though these will be redone with new effects (and a Johnny Depp cameo to boot!).
But that's for later. At launch this is going to be an unmitigated disaster, and it's going to turn Hong Kong into a laughing stock. And I'm so angry.
Posted at 6:54 AM
|
|
|
|
